Life since January: Work

Oh goodness. I can't even begin to summarize the last 6 1/2 months of work. It's been crazy and awesome and exhausting and terrible and fun and depressing and wonderful all at the same time.

just some pics from the last few months!

I started out working direct support, 40 hours a week, and with what I thought was a crazy overwhelming schedule. (well, to be fair, it kind of was). I was working some overnights, so my sleep schedule was all over the place, and I was also working at Subway still, for extra income, and working upwards of 60 hours a week. A typical day looked like me working at my main job from 12 am to 9am, sleeping for an hour, and then going to work at Subway from 10:30 am to 4pm. Then sleeping. Then rinse and repeat. It was crazy.

And then I got promoted to be a manager. And crazy took on a new definition.  I quit Subway, so it was nice to manage just one job. But my hours still stayed the same. Anywhere from 40-70 hours any given week. With long shifts, 12-18 hours. Sometimes 25 hours. Sometimes 16 hours, then coming back four hours later to work another 12 hour shift. And I've been doing that since March.

I've loved and hated every minute! Ha. It's been such a rewarding experience getting management experience and gaining confidence. And it's also been so eye opening to work a completely different field and suddenly see a whole new world I was never aware of: the special needs world. I have loved working with my guys! I work with two guys who have developmental disabilities and live together. I help them complete tasks of daily living. Basically, my job is to help them live a "normal" life! And it's been awesome! And fun! And challenging! And rewarding!

I've loved getting to help them schedule, and budget, and go to appointments, and go swimming, and go bowling, and do chores, and cook, and live! It's felt so much like getting paid to live my dream! Which, is being a mom. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything! And now I'm seriously considering getting a MA in special education! But who knows! All I know is, adulting is hard and awesome. And now, I'm on the job hunt again, to find something with more regular hours and better pay and better benefits. The game of life!

So that's basically been my life in a nutshell these past few months. Just trying to figure out why the Lord wants me to be in St. Louis, and coming to except that, and fall in love with my life here, even though I kind of fought the Lord on that one for as long as I could! Ha. Guys, the moral of the story is, trust the Lord. He knows what He's doing! I still don't know why I'm here, but it feels right, and now that I've excepted it, I feel so much peace at where I'm at with life! :)

So yes. If anyone reads this, that is the update on me! :) Ha!

Post-grad job 2.0

It's a new year and I've started a new job.  2016 may very well be the year of me trying random new jobs until I take the next step of going to grad school.  I'm perfectly fine with that.

Tomorrow begins my first full-time, no more training, week as a direct support professional for a behavioral intervention service here in St. Louis.  That is a fancy way of saying I work one on one with clients who have behavior health problems (and often physical disabilities).  This line of work is never something I imagined for myself, yet, here I am, and I'm excited about it.  I got this job through a church friend (it's all about who you know...but really.)  I started training at the beginning of the year and last week had my first week of in-house shadowing and my first two shifts working alone with clients.

I'm only 13 days in and already finding myself saying, like the shrunken head in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, "It's going to be a bumpy ride!" (minus the Jamaican accent)

All of my training classes could not have prepared me for my first time with a client who has escalated--a fancy way of saying a client who has had an emotional breakdown which may or may not (but often does) involve vigorous self-injuring behavior, and which is terrifying for all new employees involved.

There I was, trying to help my client who has very little physical independence get changed into her pajamas and lay down for bed, when my client began to weep and maim herself forcefully in the head repeatedly.  I was failing to accomplish the task at hand and quickly becoming frazzled.  Luckily, I don't display my emotions when stressed, so outwardly I was able to remain quite calm.  With some assistance from another staff who was working with her own client, I was able to help the woman deescalate. change, and get to bed.  The tension subsided.  I, however, was left thinking, "What have I gotten myself into?"

This job is going to be challenging. It's going to push me mentally, emotionally, and physically.  It's going to stretch me and help me grow. And it's going to be rewarding, in it's own way.

I'm excited to see what blog-worthy material comes from next week's episode of "Anne decides to be a DSP."  Here goes nothing.

Lifestyle Change

Every year for the last [insert number of years since I graduated high school here] years, I've set the same New Year's resolution again and again.  The same resolution that 99% of America, or at least American women, set every year.  The resolution that really just goes without saying.  

Well. This year I decided to succeed.  And succeeding I am.  To what do I owe my success? Well, to a changed perspective.   Over the Christmas holiday I had time to sit down with my stepmom--we'll call her Jamy--and talk about what it means to be healthy. I've had this conversation several times, but this time it finally sank in.  I'd been failing at my goal of getting into better shape in the past because I only thought of the change as some temporary, one-time only transformation.  Finally, I've swallowed the idea that what will really bring me success is lifestyle change.  And, it actually tastes really good.  

From Google:

[Lifestyle Change]: a process that takes time and requires support. Once you're ready to make a change, the difficult part is committing and following through. So do your research and make a plan that will prepare you for success. Careful planning means setting small goals and taking things one step at a time.

What my mindset lacked in the past was a realization that this is going to take time, that this is going to be a continual process throughout my life, and that this would require a S.M.A.R.T.E.R.* plan than ever before.  

I won't go into the details of my personal lifestyle change plan.  Because to be quite honest, that would be BORING and irrelevant.  But, I will say that this change has brought an increased level of happiness into my life, and for once in my life, I'm approaching this goal with excitement and enthusiasm, instead of begrudging and dread. 

*What is a S.M.A.R.T.E.R. goal? One that is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Results-Focused, Time-bound, and involves follow-up Evaluation and Revision.